From the office of the President Elect
April 20th, 2021 - From the White House*
This just in! Havana Nights Cigar Festival Has Returned! June 5th 2021 from 4pm til ...
"Havana Nights is baaaaaaaack!" President Elect** Sean Sawaged could be heard repeating over and over again while giggling and jumping up and down.
Eventually, we could get him calmed down enough to explain why he was so excited: "We have been locked down for so long, and now we're going to PARTAY!!!!!" Said the President elect. Honestly, that was mostly all we could get him to coherently say in between "Yipeee" and "Nico, I can't wait!"
Some of his top aids had a little to add. Nico Magana, taking the podium in the poker room announced: "We're just looking to celebrate our grand re-opening, the new member's lounge, the end of the lock-downs, and cigars... we can't forget about all the great smokes."
The president abruptly interupted Nico's announcement by cackling and emphatically yelling, "DEALS NEEECO... TELL THEM ABOUT THE DEALS!" "That's correct, Sean is blowing out the box deals on June 5th. You could save as much as 80% off of boxes" Nico responded. Nico continued, "It promises to be a great time. Sean is bringing in a food truck, live music... oh and each vendor is going to be bringing a grand prize." The president then blurted out: "THE VENDORS NEECO!" "Oh yeah, there will be at least sixteen of the best vendors around in the cigar industry on hand for this event." Nico remembered.
When pressured by Jim Accoster (FNN), as to the Presidents recent controverisal statement, "I want everyone to sit on my deck!" Nico responded, "President elect Sawaged is proud of his deck. That's all he was saying. It'll be done by then, with views of the Rocky Mountains its a great new addition to the Cave! Really, that's all he meant. The fake news media insists that he was saying something a lot worse than that... well whatever!" Nico insisted, rolling his eyes, stepping away from the podium and returning to stocking the humidor.
To recap today's announcement: June 5th at 4pm, Sean and his administration will be hosting a massive Cigar Festival at the Smoking Cave! 16 top shelf Cigar Vendors will be on hand. Lots of prizes. Food. Live music! And much much more!
Be sure to attend!
* Well... ok... maybe not the White House. ** Sean insists he won the election fair and square and there was no voter fraud. *** Matt could be heard mumbling "He's not my president!" under his breath for most of the afternoon.